Judges of our life

            There have been ample times when we have judged a person who might have just entered a room even though we don't know them. So yes, people judge, but how many times have we given up on something we like just because we worried about what others would think of us?

Often it gets so serious that we start living in the world of fear, Fear Of Social Judgement (Social Anxiety Disorder) and we start missing out so much of life because of this fear of being judged. How many times have you sat across a room where you see what could be the person of your dreams, but don’t approach him/her because of what a roomful of strangers might think if you are rejected. By worrying about what these strangers think, we are allowing people we'll never see again to control our behaviour. I know I have lost quite a few such opportunities to talk to someone who I have liked... because of this fear.

       To really over come this fear and have an impact on our life, we must understand we can’t let strangers get in our way.

"Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?"- Brigham Young.

          It's not our fault, we have inherited this fear from our ancestors who lived in a tribe and would be abandoned by their group if they did or said anything different from what the tribe did, but these innate tendencies that served your ancestors so well, do not serve us in our modern world. We can choose what tribes to belong to, and what roles to play in each and even if we are rejected by one it rarely affects your chances with others.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind."

     

         People are different individuals we can simply not please everyone because if we live for people's acceptance, we'll die from their rejection. People are never satisfied and its only when we stop wasting our time and energy making our life more presentable to others, can we express our true self more meticulously and connect with people, more genuinely, openly, intimately and the more time we can spend on things that really matter like true happiness, meaning and beauty of life.

          I've met both-people who don't care at all about what others think, never seeming to care or even consider what others think of them - oh the freedom! and people who have lived to only please others.. But really we want balance, to be 'emotionally intelligent', we need to have some awareness and consideration of what others may be thinking of us whilst not caring so much that it prevents us from being effective and original human beings.

         You can't stop people telling you what they think and feel its their freedom of speech, Consider opinions of people who you really value in life they may even help in achieving self-awareness, but decide for yourself how to act. Have the courage to allow people to see the real you, fight for your dreams, fight for all that you believe in follow your passion, work hard and sacrifice, and, above all, don't let anyone limit your dreams..  Because-

"The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams." - Oprah Winfrey.

 Share your experience and insights in the comment box below.